


Ebb and Flow

by dia_dove



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha Tsukishima, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Beta Yamaguchi, Drinking to Cope, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Omega Hinata, Omega Suga, alpha daichi, alpha kageyama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:40:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27928411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dia_dove/pseuds/dia_dove
Summary: Time changes all...Years after high school, the Karasuno volleyball team comes together for a reunion.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Saeko, Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 64





	1. Desiderium

**Author's Note:**

> I've been rewatching Haikyuu and have a lot of feelings and thoughts. What better way to handle them than by a drabble collection of what the boys are up to post hs/college
> 
> Each chapter will focus on a different couple but will still flow together as far as plot goes.
> 
> note: no beta reader, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless~

**_Desiderium-ardent longing for something lost_ **  


“Are you not...going?” Hinata blinks slowly at Suga who— despite the overwhelming amount of work he had to do for work— was planted comfortably on the couch focussed on the movie in front of him. It was a comedy, something Hinata had picked out at the store. Suga didn’t mind the genre but this one in particular was more or less the same as every other romcom he’d seen. It’s not interesting enough to garner his attention as much as he’s pretending it is.

“Suga?”

He purses his lips. The red-head had never been the best at reading a room. “Going where?”

“The team reunion dinner. The one Coach Ukai set up.”

“Ah…” He can’t even feign ignorance.

Ever since he had received the email from Coach Ukai, he’d been tense and on edge. A reunion out of the blue like this? He hadn’t seen most of his high school teammates for years. There are a few exceptions of course. Hinata returned frequently to help Ukai train the new Karasuno crows. And wherever Hinata went, one could expect Kageyama to follow soon after.

Noya also would make an appearance when his travels allowed, though he never stayed in one place for too long. Suga would see him one day and the next he would be halfway across the world.

Every now and then Suga would cross paths with Tanaka, but they mostly stayed in touch with text and calls.

Daichi...well despite their close proximity to each other, Suga hasn’t made that trip yet. Of course they text once in a while. But he hadn’t actually  _ seen  _ Daichi in years. He hasn’t gathered the courage to…

“I think...I don’t know.” He smiles softly, not really looking at Hinata. “I have a lot of work to do for the school. And I’d have to find a sitter. I might just pass on this one.”

He can feel the smaller man’s eyes on him. When he turns to look his friend is staring at him hard.

“I’m sure everyone wants to see you. Especially him.” as though he’s read Suga’s thoughts. “What happened to that overwhelmingly positive attitude of yours? You know as well as I do Daichi would totally have his day made if he saw you.”

Maybe that would be true in the past but now...he’s certain the only thing he would do now is hurt Daichi.

Hinata wouldn’t understand, he’d always been a straightforward type of person. Someone who says what’s in his heart without a second thought. When he had presented to the team as an omega, Hinata didn’t hesitate to yell his second sex loud and proud. Suga had been a little jealous of that. It took a whole year for him to come out. He’d lied about being a beta for a long time. Mostly out of fear. He didn’t want to be alienated from a team which historically was filled with alphas. He didn’t want to be pitied by friends or underestimated by rival teams. So he hid his omega status, until he couldn’t any longer. Until an unplanned heat knocked him out of a practice match and caused an uproar on the court. 

He can still remember it vividly. How his body sunk hard and fast to the floor. He remembers how hot he felt, how the sweat drenched through his clothes making his scent permeate through the room. And he remembers the alphas…

Like some planned play they had rushed him all at once. Who could blame them? Most young alphas don’t know the scent of an omega in heat. They don’t know how to control their bodies or minds. They move simply on instinct alone.

The only thing that saved their team from a disaster was Coach Ukai whose quick thinking and preparation got suppressants to Suga in moments. And Daichi, who was instantaneously by his side, forcing the other alphas into submission.

Suga doesn’t want to think longer on that day. It was a stain on his high school memories, and one of the many reasons he pulled away from the club.

The doctor said his cycle was unpredictable. While most omegas only needed to take suppressants 3 days prior and three days after a heat, Suga took them daily. And his body suffered for it with spouts of lethargy and vertigo.

“I think they’d be more excited to see you, mr. all star.” Suga changes the topic. “You and Kageyama are practically celebrities in the volleyball world.”

The compliment seems to work because Hinata goes on to detail the last few matches he’s played in.

Suga focuses on that rather than his thoughts or the poorly acted movie.

It isn’t until late into the night that Hinata starts yawning and decides it’s best to head on out. 

“Thanks for keeping me company.” The red-head beams as he slips on his shoes. “The movie kind of sucked ass but It was nice to chat with you.”

Suga nods in agreement. “Sorry we couldn’t go out somewhere. My usual sitter for Chiharu had something else to do tonight.”

“That’s fine, I’m always more than happy to keep the little stink bug entertained.”

Suga laughs. “She’s always excited to see you so...thank you…” For being here. For being present. For accepting me. For accepting her. He doesn’t say all that but it’s implied in his voice.

Hinata pulls him in for a tight hug.

“Please, Suga. Just go for a few minutes. An hour tops. You can always leave when you feel like it. But I do think it’ll be good for you to see the others.

Maybe it would.

Or maybe it would tear him apart.

“I’ll think about it. I promise.”

The moment Hinata leaves Suga locks the door, dropping to his knees with a heavy breath.

“Mommy?” A small voice yawns behind him and Suga quickly corrects himself to his feet. Chiharu rubs her eyes as she walks toward him. In her other hand she grips a pink plush unicorn he had gotten her for her third birthday. Even at five years she still clings to that thing when she sleeps.

“It’s late honey, you should be in bed.”

“I heard Hina. I want to play more.”

Suga stoops down to her level, petting her head . She looks a lot like him. That same grey hair and a small mole right below her mouth. She’s tall for her age and thin. Suga hopes that’s a sign she will play volleyball in the future.

“Hina just left, but I’m sure he’ll be back again soon to play.” He takes the girl by the hand and begins walking her back to her room. “You had a busy day so why don't we get some sleep. And in the morning we can go to the park or something. How does that sound?”

Chiharu nods eagerly. “Park! Park! Park!”

“It’s a date then.” Suga kisses his daughter gently on the forehead before tucking her under her unicorn themed blankets. “I love you.” He says softly. He’s met by a smile much like his own.

“I love you too, mommy!”

Chiharu had come into his life unexpectedly. A result of a careless drunken night. He wouldn’t call it an accident, he would never call her an accident. He blames his own stupidity for what happened. Suga wasn’t the type to just..sleep around— ask anyone. But at the time he was emotionally vulnerable and lonely. The alcohol only bolstered his foolishness. Made him fall into the arms of the nearest body. The nearest source of warmth. He had wanted to feel something, anything.

Chiharu was from born that night.

Suga didn’t give a damn about who her father is. He couldn’t recall his face if he tried. Maybe it was better that way.

His family had disowned him after that. His mother was a strict woman, An alpha and businesswoman who had tried to force her traditional ideals on Suga. She hadn’t wanted him to play volleyball— that’s an alpha’s sport. And she certainly didn’t approve of him being around so many alphas. The almost travesty during his third year gave her enough cause to force him out of the game. The pregnancy gave her reason to push him out of the family.

Still...he knows he made the correct decision in going through with the pregnancy. This little girl had given him purpose, and inspired a career path in teaching. Chiharu made him happy, and he would do anything to keep the peace he has now.

What Hinata was asking him to do...to see the rest of his team now is…

But how much longer would he hide? How can he look his daughter in the eye and proclaim his love when he’s too afraid to share her with the people who had meant so much to him. Hinata accepted her so...maybe...maybe the others would. Maybe Daichi would.

Suga slinks into his own room, climbing into bed with a heavy heart.

.

.

.

The venue chosen for the reunion is a local place. It normally functioned as a late night karaoke bar but Ukai had rented the entire place out for the night. It’s not surprising. Ukai always went out of their way for them. Of course Suga is certain that Takeda more than likely took care of the finer details as usual.

Despite his reluctance to show up he couldn’t help but feel a hint of anticipation toward seeing everyone again. He’s certain a lot has changed in everyone’s life. Not just his own.

Upon entering he sees that place is already more or less full. After all, it’s not just their generation crowding in. Alum of various ages have all joined in for a day to really celebrate the crow legacy.

Suga arrived a little later than scheduled on purpose, hoping to avoid the awkwardness of being the first person in the room.

He scans the room for familiar faces, eyes settling on his redhead friend and his scowling mate. Looks like Kageyama is a little less excited about the reunion. Of course, that’s also his regular expression so who knows.

He approaches them with a smile. “Well if it isn’t my favorite underclassmen.”

Smile. 

“Kageyama, I hope you’ve been well. I know you’ve been doing a lot of traveling for games recently.”

The dark haired alpha nods. “Yeah, i only got off the plane a few hours ago and this one insisted we be here right on time.” Kageyama growls at Hinata who smiles with a ‘guilty as charged’ expression.

“Well feel free to have an extra drink tonight. For your troubles.” Suga helps himself to a seat nearby. One that faces the door so he can watch who comes in and out.

It’s easy to find conversation with Hinata nearby, and Suga has never been a shy one himself. They mostly talk about volleyball. Suga is crafty, and keeps the topic away from anything personal. He’ll come out with it eventually, but now is not the time. He’s not ready.

“Suga!” Noya’s voice echoes through the entire room. “Suga! Suga!” Nishinoya has gotten taller since high school. Even a little thicker. But that smile is all the same. He’s always been an odd alpha. Smaller than most but just as intimidating as any other alpha when he needs to be.

He rushes to Suga, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down. “What the hell is up! Is it really possible for you to be even prettier now?”

Asahi is not far behind. He’s grown too if that’s even possible. Asahi was an alpha in every way but personality. He was kind, sensitive, and though he looked intimidating enough, everyone on the team knew he was the softest player there was. He was a nice pair to Nishinoya.

“I wouldn’t say prettier, maybe more mature would be better.” Suga laughs. He greets them both with a long embrace.

Asahi, looks around curiously. “Have you seen Daichi?” I know he mentioned working a late shift but said he’d make it.”

“Working? Even on a day like today? That guy needs to relax.” Noya groans. “I’ll go get us some drinks while we wait for the captain.” He scurries away quickly, passing by Tsukishima Kei who enters alongside his older brother. Suga is surprised not to see Yamaguchi with him. Usually the two were attached at the hip. Though who knows what’s changed in their lives since then.

Both brothers are alphas. In fact, their whole family is composed of alphas. Yamaguchi on the other hand is a beta through and through.

“Look at who’s all grown up.” Suga waves, his tone teasing.

Tsukishima scowls. That apparently hasn’t changed.

“How can you be so smiley in all this racket.” The blond sighs, closing his eyes and wincing as though he has a headache.

For an alpha, Tsukishima had always been pretty. His golden hair was just as curly as Suga remembers, only now it hangs just a little bit longer down his forehead. He is also still one of the tallest in the room.

“Easy, I get to see all my favorites in one room. What’s not to smile about?”   
“Pfft, your favorites?” There is an unplayful tone in the blond’s voice. “As I recall you haven’t seen half of us in years.”

Curt as always.

Suga’s smile doesn’t waver. “So, where is your friend. Usually Yamaguchi is right behind you.”

That must hit a nerve because Tsikishima visibly tenses up.

Suga cocks his head to the side curiously. Was there perhaps something actually wrong? “Tsukishima? Is everything alright with Yamaguchi?”

“How should I know? I’m not his keeper.” He offers nothing more than that before finding a seat away from the others.

Suga wants to ask about it. Perhaps it was his instincts as an omega to try and comfort the younger boys. But he fights against the urge. Judging by the look on Tsukishima’s face, that was a wound he didn't want to pick at.

When Noya brings them drinks he’s thankful. While he didn’t plan on drinking himself silly, he’d like something to take the edge off. 

Something about being here among everyone made the hair on the back of his neck stand on in. In the past it was comfort he found in their company. But not today. Rather, he feels an uneasiness that comes in waves. Like being here is wrong. Like HE doesn’t belong here. As though he’s some sort of imposter impeding on the others.

The omega takes a quick sip of his drink. He doesn’t drink often so the taste is a bit off-putting.

“I’m not a big drinker either.” Asahi laughs. “But it’s nice every now and then.”

Noya practically chugs his drink. “I prefer something with a little more taste than a beer but it’s mandatory that we have one since we’re all legal now. It’s like a man’s tradition.”

“I’ll drink to that then?” Suga takes another big gulp.

After a bit of chatter, Suga can see how much the both of them have changed.

While Nishinoya is still as outspoken and hyper as ever, there is a much more mature air about him. He’s also a lot more independent. Of course traveling the world alone can do that to a guy.

Asahi still has that same gentle heart, and the looks to match. But now he seems much more confident in himself. He stutters less when he talks and he actually holds eye contact, something he often struggled to do in high school.

It’s nice to catch up, though Suga doesn’t talk about himself much. He mentions work at the elementary school and his busy schedule. His love life never comes up, nor does his daughter.

As happy as he is to chat, he can’t help but keep his eyes on the entrance, waiting. Hoping. He doesn’t know what he wants more: for Daichi to not show so he can avoid this whole confrontation, or to finally see his best friend after years apart.

He only gets a few minutes of sipping on his drink and sifting through his thoughts before fate forces his hand.

The entrance door opens and Daichi enters the bar. The room erupts with cheers. Suga, on the other hand, is speechless.

He’s as handsome as he remembers— no, definitely more handsome. He’s a little taller now. With broad shoulders and toned arms. His chest is wide and looks particularly enticing in his work uniform. His hair is cut short, just like he used to wear it in high school. It’s slicked back out of his face and shows off those soft eyes Suga has always loved.

Suga can’t remember when Daichi had decided on becoming a police officer, but as of right now he’s sure as hell thankful. Suga hadn’t considered the uniform a kink of his until this very moment.

“Hey everyone, sorry I’m late. I wanted to put in a few more hours today.” His voice is soothing. Stern yet somehow gentle. He wears a smile as he circles the room greeting everyone.

Like a magnet people are drawn to Daichi. It was like that ever since they were children. There was something about the way he carried himself. The way he greeted everyone with a smile. The way he kept eye contact the entire time he was talking to you. People just wanted to be around him. And it seems no different now. Even the eldest of the bunch, graduates that they’d never met before, surround the young alpha. All eager to introduce themself to the captain who led Karasuno during its golden era.

Ukai welcomes Daichi with a beer which the alpha takes with a smile. “Finally the captain shows. Everyone’s been looking for you.”

“Me? Well sorry for taking so long I decided to work another shift before coming.”

Ukai pats his back hard. “Forget about it. You’re here now and there are a lot of people eager to see you.”

For a split second, Suga could swear Ukai was looking toward him.

He averts his eyes, focussing instead on Noya who was going on about a recent trip to Spain.

“All the girls looked like models!” He makes a crude gesture. “I was seriously feeling overwhelmed. What’s more, apparently it was totally in-style for omegas to wear chokers.” He points toward Suga.

“Like collars?” He laughs. “Omegas haven’t worn collars for decades.”

“Well I guess they’re making a comeback. Like flared jeans or a mullet. I can pick you up a couple of colors if you want.” The alpha teases.

Suga only blushes slightly. “There’s no way in hell I’m wearing something like that!”

“Yeah well I bet Daichi would like something  _ like that.” _

“Like what?” Daichi’s voice behind him sends a cold shiver down Suga’s spine. He physically has to hold his hand down to keep from covering his nape. As though Daichi’s lips were inches from his skin.

“Daichi, hey!” Asahi beams. “Noya was just being unbearable as usual.”

Suga tunes out their small talk. With Daichi so close to him he can’t just stand and leave. He’s stuck stirring awkwardly, relieving his stress by fidgeting with the end of his cardigan. 

A hand on his shoulder makes him jolt upright.

“It’s good to see you here, Suga.” Daichi’s voice is kind.

“I figured I could grace you all with my presence.”

“Glad you did...It’s been too long…”

There are a few beats of silence. Just seconds but long enough for Noya to clear his throat and fill it. “My and Asahi are gonna go catch up with Tanaka. You can have my seat, Daichi.” He hops up and without pause grabs the taller alpha to pull him away. Not without first shooting Suga a wink.

Not smooth at all.

“It’s nice to see that some things never change.” Daichi takes the seat across the table from Suga. “He and Hinata are like balls of energy. It’s like they never stop.” He sighs. “I wish that me.”

“You should try teaching. “ Suga says. “Those first graders keep me busier than Hinata and Noya ever did.”

That makes Daichi laugh, and what a laugh it is. Suga missed the sound of it.

Fuck. This was going to be hard.

Suga downs the last of his drink. “It’s been a long time hasn’t it?” he feels Daichi’s eyes on him, unmoving.

“...yeah. Too long actually.”

“I should have been a better friend, huh?” The omega admits. “At least to check on you and make sure you’re eating right. Which, if looks are anything to go by…” He trails with a laugh.

“Well just because I stopped playing volleyball doesn’t mean I can’t keep fit. I still do a lot of the drills we did back then.”

“Unlike me who’s gotten all soft.” Suga rests his cheek on the palm of his hand. “I’m a little jealous. I probably couldn’t hope to set anything near what I did in high school.”

“Hmmm?” Daichi smiles. He reaches a hand across the table, pinching Suga’s cheek. “You do look a little softer than I remember.”

The omega groans.

“Ah, not that it’s a bad thing of course.” He adds. “You look good. Happy.”

Suga can sense pain behind his words.

“Even though we live in the same area, it seems like we never run into each other.” He doesn’t phrase it as anything more than a fact. But there is a tone in there that Suga can’t exactly place.

He leans back, away from Daichi’s reach. “Well, you know how it is.” He smiles, wishing he had another drink to keep his hands busy and his mouth shut. “It gets busy at the school, even someone like me who works with young kids gets overwhelmed. Once the work day’s over I just want to get home and crawl into bed. Surely you understand what I mean?”

Daichi’s stare doesn’t waver. “Of course…I get it. We’re both adults. Our lives are hectic. No one really expects everything to be the same after high school. Things happen. People change.”

Suga glances away from him. He has to force the smile to remain on his face. “Some people. But apparently not you. You still sound like that same old motivational and mature captain we all knew and loved.”

“And you still have a way with words obviously.” A laugh. “But no, I get it. I mean. Friends— real friends— something like time and distance, it doesn’t matter. I mean look at everyone. Most of us haven’t had a full conversation in months maybe years but once we all got in here—”

“It all fell into place.” Suga finishes. 

A look of relief crosses Daichi’s face. “So what have you been up to? Besides being busy with work, of course.”

Suga’s not ready to answer that just yet. Instead he stands promptly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. How many times has he derailed the conversation at this point? Is it enough to be suspicious? 

“How about I get us some refills?”

“Sure, Suga...I’ll take a beer.” There is a hint of disappointment in his voice, but a smile nonetheless. It makes Suga feel guilty for stalling the conversation but he needs a moment to recollect himself and think over how he’s going to bring up Chiharu.

He has pictures on his phone, maybe he could show one. What would Daichi say first? Would he comment on her hair? Her eyes? Would he ask about her father? Daichi has never been one to...judge but, would his image of Suga change drastically? Would he still want to be his friend once he knew? Would any of them?

Maybe he shouldn’t show him here. Maybe they should go somewhere more private.

Suga crosses the floor quickly. Another second away means another moment he has to think through his strategy.

The bar has really livened up now. Hinata and Noya have a microphone in their hands, singing their heart out to some karaoke. Tanaka has already stripped his shirt off and remains planted firmly beside Kiyoko, his wife, gassing her up like a celebrity. He sees Ukai laughing in a corner, his arm loosely wrapped around Takeda’s waist.

Despite Suga’s internal torment, the room partied on.

He thanks the bartender with a smile, passing him a heavy bundle of bills for a tip before heading back to where Daichi is seated. Or at least where he was seated. The omega looks around, trying to locate the alpha.

“If you’re looking for Daichi he stepped outside.” The youngest Tsukishima brother points. It looks like he hasn’t drank a thing this whole night. Or moved for that matter. He would have to make a mental note of that and check in later.

Suga thanks him before crossing the room and squeezing out the front door. The sky has gone dark and the air has gone cold. Winter is right around the corner and Suga isn’t looking forward to it.

To the right of the door, Daichi stands with his back pressed against the brick wall of the building. He’s not smiling this time. On the contrary he wears a hard frown, his brows furrowed as though he’s deep in thought.

“Your face will stick like that in this weather.” Suga passes him his beer. “Too noisy?” he asks, referring to the bar.

“Too much.” Is Daichi’s response. “I talk a big game but It’s all a little overwhelming honestly. Even though I’ve been keeping in touch with everyone, that energy when we’re all together is something you just can’t capture.”

“It’s nice to see all those smiling faces though.” Suga adds in an attempt to flip the mood. “I feel like a proud parent to some really awesome kids.”

Daichi nods in agreement before sipping on his beer.

There is a long drawn out silence between them. So long in fact that Suga had sucked down his drink before placing it on the ground beside him. He eases just a few inches closer to Daichi. Toward that heat the alpha radiates. He wants to be closer. Closer. Closer. He doesn’t know how to put that into words so he hopes Daichi will say something first.

“You know…” Daichi starts and Suga stiffens. “I wish...I wish I could go back, you know. Back to when things were easier.”

“Easier?” Suga tilts his head back against the wall. He’s closer to Daichi now, their shoulders almost touching.

“Yeah. When we were all together and could spend time just hitting the ball back and forth. We’d spend hours on the court. Sometimes just the two of us.” Daichi still doesn’t smile. As though the memories hurt to recall. “I remember one night I was scolded for hours after getting home late. We had gotten so wrapped up in practicing receives we lost track of time.” 

Suga could hear the party grow livelier inside. But all the laughter in the world couldn’t drown out the sadness in Daichi’s voice.

“I miss you, Suga.”

Suga bites down hard on the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t like where this conversation is going.

“I miss all those late nights. I miss when we used to bicker about practices and how I’d always catch you letting the first years off easy. Hell, I miss those little jabs of yours whenever your temper flared up.”

The omega shifts his weight from one foot to the other. How is he supposed to respond? If he was as confident and forward as Hinata, he’d tell him he misses him too.

But he’s not. Instead he says, “Well, I’m not the same as I was back then. No matter how much we try, things can’t be the same. Not between us.”

Daichi is the one who moves this time. He places his beer on the ground before turning and facing the omega. He stands toe to toe with him. Just close enough to trap him there in his arms.

“I know...back when everything fell apart I really did mess up.” He scratches the back of his head in frustration. “I can’t fucking believe it’s taken me so long but…I’m sorry Suga, I really am. I stepped away from you and I—”

“What the hell are you talking about.” Suga stops him with a hand on his chest. He wasn't about to let Daichi apologize for something that he himself did. “I’m the one who stepped away. If anyone should apologize...it’s me. After I collapsed that day. I..I lost the confidence to stand beside you guys. And I was too prideful to be honest.” Suga looks up, meeting his gaze. “I’m sorry Daichi. I know there was a lot expected of me and even though i said i never would, i let my second gender dictate my actions.”

The alpha grits his teeth. “It’s not your fault. You can’t help how your body reacts. We were children back then. As captain though, I should have chased after you. Comforted you. But instead I convinced myself you wanted the space.” He sighs. “In reality I guess I was afraid to really see you as an omega.”

Suga blinks.

What the hell does that mean?

“It’s just,” Daichi clears his throat. “Even before I knew about you being an omega I...I had feelings for you. You drew me in. With your wisecracks and your positive attitude. You cared deeply about people and I really did care deeply about you.”

_ Did… _

“And then you told us you were an omega and I about had a breakdown. I wasn’t sure if...if maybe I was only attracted to you because deep down, my body knew you were an omega. I began to second guess my feelings for you. It was stupid but at the time I thought it was best if I kept you at arms length.”

He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly.

“And then you went into heat during that practice game and I lost it. I wanted you. So so bad. I was willing to hurt the others to make you mine.”

Suga’s face flushed. He doesn’t know where to look now. He had always assumed Daichi was put off by him being an omega. That the reason he stopped reaching out was because of disgust or anger. 

Suga is shaking now. He never knew this. He never knew of Daichi’s feelings. And now he was finding out in front of a bar? How could he not have noticed?

“If i’m honest, I only came here today because a part of me hoped to see you. To apologize and make this right. I’m sure you felt lonely…”

That word alone is enough to make Suga burst into tears. It’s a silent cry. No whining or heavy breathing. Just tears streaking down his cheeks.

Lonely.

That was a feeling Suga could never chase away. A deep emptiness that nothing could fill. Loneliness...Daichi felt it too?

Daichi seems surprised by the waterworks and he stammers out an apology before pulling Suga into an embrace. 

It’s the warmest Suga has ever felt.

“Hey...don’t cry alright. If you start then I will and I’m an ugly crier you know that.”

Suga sniffles, burying his face into Daichi’s chest. “I’m sorry, I’m just sad. Scared. Lonely. And now with everyone around— with you around, I’m feeling so strange. I’m happy but… I just don’t know.” He feels overwhelmed.

The alpha pulls away from him, holding him at arm’s length. “What’s going on, Suga? Please talk to me.”   
“I’m just so stupid. I should have told you back then how much I liked you. And instead I ran away. I made assumptions and I ruined us. I ruined everything.”

“No, you didn’t. We’re here now. Together. I want to make it right. I don’t care about what happened before.”

Instead of responding Suga nods and sniffles.

“Let’s fix this, Suga. Please. If you’re okay with it— with me.”

Yes. Yes. “I want that. There’s nothing I want more.”

Suga and Daichi had left the party quietly. They didn’t bother with goodbye’s— though Suga did send Noya a text. Since Suga had walked they took Daichi’s car the few minutes into town to the omega’s apartment.

At this point, Suga felt like he might throw up. When he told Daichi he needed to show him something first he wasn’t sure how he would react. But Daichi had simply smiled and followed him.

They didn’t speak during the ride but Daichi had taken one hand in his and held it the entire time.

The air around them was...warm. Suga felt light and pleasant. His heart hadn’t stopped racing but instead of tears he wore a blissful smile. Years late, but he had finally said how he felt. And his feelings had been returned.

Of course, Suga isn’t an idiot. He doesn’t want to vapidly rush things. He wants to properly be reintroduced to this new Daichi. This time as more than a friend. And he wants Daichi to get to know him as well. Him and his daughter.

“I’m back a little early, Ami!” Suga calls once he’s shut the door behind them. For a brief moment he can see Daichi’s face fall. “Oh uh, Ami is…” Deep breath. “She’s my sitter. She lives in the apartment down the hall.”

“Sitter?”

A young girl with curly brown hair and thick rimmed glasses turns the corner into the hall. Ami is a sweet kid. She’s a young college student studying to become a teacher. They met when she was assigned to job shadow Suga for a class. And he really liked her. Enough so that he hired her on as a babysitter for days when he went out. He feels more than comfortable leaving Chiharu in her care.

“Welcome back! Chiharu was an angel. She even ate everything you left for dinner. She didn’t even give me problems dur—- ” She pauses mid sentence when she sees Daichi. He can’t blame her. “Uh, She didn’t even give me any problems during bath time.”

“That’s great!” Suga takes some money from his pocket to pay her. “I really appreciate you doing this last minute.”

“No problem at all.” The girl’s eyes are glued to Daichi “H— hello, officer.”

“Ami this is Daichi, we used to play volleyball together.” He smiles.

Daichi shakes her hand with a smile.

“Sugawara said he was meeting with some old friends. Uhm, I hope you had a lot of fun.”

He nods. “Mhm, it’s been perfect.” his eyes flicker to Daichi who grabs at his hand again. 

“G— great, I’ll be heading out now.” She scurries to slip on her shoes. “Chiharu is already asleep so no need to worry about that.” Ami makes a swift exit, her cheeks a bright red.

“She’s...a sitter? Daichi asks again once the girl is gone.

“That’s right. For Chiharu.”

Suga pulls the alpha further inside, hushing him with a finger to his lips. They creep down the hall to the last door, where slowly Suga opens it to reveal Chiharu’s room.

He can tell from his body language that Daichi is trying to appear happy, but his eyes give him away.

With a light tug, Suga pulls Daichi by the hand back toward the master bedroom.

“You...she’s… uhm. Honestly I don’t really know what to say.” the alpha amits. 

“Her name is Chiharu. She’s five years old and really loves unicorns.” Suga sits on the bed while Daichi stands stiffly.

“Your daughter.”

“Mhmm.”

Silence.

“Where is—”

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t even if I saw him.” he answers quickly.

There is a brief flicker of anger in the alpha’s eyes.

“Ah, no it wasn’t rape or anything like that.” Suga reassures. “It was just...something that happened. I got drunk and careless and sad one night. Apparently a dangerous combination. I hadn’t even finished university yet.”

Daichi makes slow steps toward him.

“You have a child and you haven’t told anyone.”

“Well, no. Hinata and Kageyama know. I’ve actually been too terrified to tell anyone if I’m being honest. Being an omega with a fatherless child is...Well let’s just say my parents didn’t react well.”

“We’re not your parents, Suga.”

“I know.” He sighs. “I was just really confused and alone and scared. I lost my family, I didn’t want to lose anyone else.”

“Hey.” Daichi crosses the floor to him. He takes his hands, pulling him up into his arms. “I’m not judging you. And I don’t think the rest of the team gives a damn about how it happened. But I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’re looking forward to meeting that little girl.”

He places a kiss against Suga’s forehead. “Is that what made you so nervous? And why you invited me over?”

“It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.” He wraps his arms around Daichi’s middle. That’s part of the reason he invited him back. But another part of him...the omega part of him...had a few other thoughts.

“You should spend the night.” Suga says into Daichi’s chest, breathing in his scent: warm cinnamon.

He can feel the other’s heart race, matching his own.

“I’d be happy to.”

  
  
  


Daichi steps out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel around his waist. Suga had expected him to look more nervous. This was their first time seeing each other in years. Now they’re alone together in his bedroom, the scent of soap lingering in the air. But he stands with confidence almost show-offy. And Suga can’t help but blush and turn away as he pulls on a night shirt.

The alpha laughs. “Don’t go shy on me now.” 

Suga hears him approach and turns to meet him. He’s met with gentle hands gliding around his waist. “Hey.”

“Hey.” The omega smiles.

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s a question that surprises Suga, considering they're both half naked. But he appreciates it nonetheless.

“Always a gentleman.” The omega leans forward and presses his lips against the other’s. It feels good. Perfect. Warmth spreads through him. His body instinctively pushes forward until he’s flush against the alpha.

A young Suga would have completely flipped out if he thought he’d one day get to kiss the captain that made his heart flutter. And what a kiss it is. Deep and passionate and enough to make Suga mewl just a little.

Daichi smiles against his lips. “I like the sound of that.”

Suga eyes flicker open. “Enough talking, more kissing.” He wrapped his own arms around the alpha’s back, Fingers trailing down muscles. He traces the curve of his spine with his fingertips. He can feel the way Daichi shivers under him, enticed by the touch.

Daichi kisses him again, harder this time. Suga mewls again, opening his mouth and allowing the alpha access.

“Just like that.” Daichi slips his tongue inside.

Heat stirs in Suga. From the tip of his toes to the top of his head. His entire being years for more. He’s been waiting years for more.

Suga pulls, licking his lips before pushing Daichi onto the bed.

“Lose the towel.” he says in a tone that is about as demanding as he can get in the situation.

Daichi stares in amusement. “Is that supposed to be a command.” He chuckles, palming himself over the grey fabric.

Suga swallows as he watches Daichi peel the towel away from himself. His cock springing free into the air.

Fuck.

Fuck.

That was an alpha’s cock. A real cock. Only half hard and it was already standing tall. It was more wide than long and Suga would make out a thick vein on the underside. The head was flushed a pretty pink color. 

Suga practically drools. He pulls off his own shirt and tosses it aside before helping himself to Daichi’s lap. The alpha’s shaft presses into his stomach, his own cock jumping at the friction. They kiss again, messier than before. Harder than before. Suga rocks his hips, grinding against the heavy heat between his legs. He can feel slick trickle from his hole.

“Fuck.” Daichi breathes in deeply against his skin, nuzzling in the crook of his neck. He Kisses the tender flesh, sucking it until it turns an angry purple color.

The omega slips his hands between their bodies, fisting both their cocks in his hands. At least he tries, Daichi is so big. So thick… Suga moans, biting hard on his lower lip.

“That feels good…” Daichi says between soft kisses. “So good, Suga.”

Suga glides his hands up their lengths. Both are already leaking pre at this point. He touches his finger in the mess, his body shivering. It’s hot, so hot.

Daichi stands suddenly, hosting Suga up with him. He lays the omega on his back, hovering over him with one hand tucked behind his head and the other creeping between his legs. He ignores the omega’s twitching cock and instead his fingers trail between thick cheeks to touch his hole.

Suga breath quickens, his chest rising and falling as Daichi rubs against the ring of muscle gently.

“Are we crazy for doing this?” The alpha’s eyes meet his with a warm gaze.

Maybe they are. But that doesn’t stop Suga’s body from reacting the way it does. He wants to kiss him. He wants to touch him. He had waited long enough. No more denying himself this.

“Don’t stop now.” The omega squirms before touching himself. Fisting his cock.

Daichi watches him. Staring in awe as the omega plays with himself. It’s enough to make his cock ache, swelling until he feels like it may burst.

Slick glistens against the alpha’s hands and he can’t resist the pull to bring his fingers to his lips to taste it, smell it.

“W— what the hell.” Suga turns red. “Don’t eat that you perv!”

“Weren’t you the one demanding I take my towel off a few minutes ago?”

“Maybe so but still! Don’t do that so suddenly.”

Daichi silences him with a kiss and playful bite. His hand this time focuses on the omega’s chest. Thumbing perky pink nipples before tracing a line down his belly.

“You know.” Daichi laps at his lips. “I can’t help but feel some jealousy.” He trails kisses down the other’s jaw. “All this time i was an idiot. And some other alpha filled you with his seed.”

Suga’s breath catches in his throat as the alpha rubs circles across his belly. The idea of Daichi filling him. Putting another life inside him, it’s all he can think about in that moment until Daichi bites down on his clavicle.

Suga moans loudly.

“Shh, hey, we gotta keep quiet right?” The alpha smiles. “I never would have guessed you would be noisy.”

How was he not supposed to be noisy? Daichi was touching him so intently, so gently. And the scent of his pheromones was making him drunk with ecstasy. It would be impossible for him to keep quiet at this point. But his daughter’s room is down the hall and she’s always been a heavy sleeper so he homes that is the case tonight.

The alpha returns to gently rubbing his entrance with the pad of his fingers. He’s so wet right now.

The alpha pushes a finger inside, slowly and gently. Suga hums at the intrusion, his body giving in easily. How long has it been? Ages since his last sexual encounter. And he hardly ever has the time to maturbate. When he does it definitely doesn’t feel like this. His own hands don’t even come close to Daichi’s thick fingers. The way just one fills him is a pretty good indicator of what’s to come.

“How does that feel?” Daichi whispers.

“Really, really good— ah!” Suga tries to keep himself quiet as another finger is added followed soon after by another. The alpha opens him almost painfully slow. Curling his fingers and petting on the sweet spot inside Suga until the omega is throbbing with pleasure. He can barely think straight anymore. It’s too much, too good. His little cock bobs up and down swollen and red. He wraps his hands around it, lifting his hips just enough for a small thrust.

The heat in his stomach bursts and Suga comes with a whine over his stomach.

“...Wow…” The alpha pants, inhaling the scent. “Look at you.” His fingers dig deeper pushing harder against the sensitive spot inside him. Suga tries to run from it, closing his legs tightly but Daichi persists.

“Fuck! Daichi.” He cries real tears. His body tingles all over. It’s overwhelming, too much. His cock aches terribly but the alpha doesn’t stop. It takes everything he has to keep from jolting up and away. He tries to focus on something else. Anything else. But all he can seem to focus on is the feeling of Daichi’s fingers inside him and the wet squelching sound of slick oozing from his body.

Suga sees white as he spills between them once more. His seed shoots across his stomach to his chest. Finally, Daichi stops. He sits up, his eyes glazed over, and slots himself between Suga’s legs. He strokes himself slowly, watching Suga squirm beneath him.

The omega can barely focus. His body feels weak now but...god he wants Daichi inside of him.

“You need a break?” The alpha asks? Though by the look of his cock he wouldn’t last much longer.

Suga takes a deep breath. “Nope.” He hooks his legs around the other. “Hurry up and fill me like you wanted.” He winks.

“But uh—Uhm condom?”

Shit. If he knew this was going to happen he would have definitely gotten some. He’s not worried about pregnancy, he takes birth control everyday to keep his hormones in check.

“Sorry, I don’t have any but. You gestures over to the pills on his nightstand. “If you’re okay with it....”

That’s all it takes to encourage him. Daichi hastily pushes the omega’s legs further apart with one hand and uses the other to guide his cock to his entrance. The size difference is obscene. For a brief second, he doesn’t think it’ll fit.

Instead of pushing inside, Daichi rubs the length of his cock against the puckering hole. “You know. I used to fantasize about this. You under me...How it would look when I—mmmm.” He closes his eyes in thought. Smiling.

Suga drools. He can actually feel his body begging for it. Feel every twitch of his hole as it greedily awaits an alpha’s cock.

Daichi continues. “Fuck. The first time, we were in the showers in high school. I saw you and wanted to push you down. I was mad with my want. So I want to savor this and take it nice and slow…” He trails, finally pushing the head of his cock inside.

Suga opens his mouth but holds back the moan. The head alone stretched him wide.

“That’s it…” Daichi holds the omega’s legs apart. Watching as his length disappears inch my inch. Finally his bottoms out, closing his eyes as he takes in the feeling of being sheathed in Suga’s heat.

Suga has never felt more full. He relaxes back into the bed. He doesn’t know how long lay there— just engrossed in each other. Daichi doesn’t start moving until Suga speaks, noting that he’s okay. The two press their lips together and the alpha begins moving his hips.

Each thrust is slow and deep. As though it’s taking everything Daichi has to keep in control. With each movement, Suga mewls. Despite what he said earlier, he can tell the alpha likes to hear him noisy. With every sound he makes Daichi twitches inside of him.

Once they find a steady rhythm, the alpha sits up, picking up the pace. He glides his hands up Suga’s leg before hositing one over his shoulder. 

The change in position is light, but enough to push inside to Suga’s deepest parts. The omega responds with a loud yelp. A cry. His already sensitive cock leaks, swelling up all over again as Daichi hammers into him.

“That’s good.” Daichi praises. “That’s really good Suga.” He fucks him harder, grunting now as the omega loses all sense of his control over his voice.

How the hell was Daichi so good at this?

“You’re so wet for me.”

“Mhmm” Suga arches his back, hips deciding to meet each of the alpha’s thrust.

“I’m gonna fill you up.”

“Fill me up— ah!” The omega purs, the nape of his neck tingling.

“I wanna fill you with my seed. Breed you.”

“Yes, please. Daichi! I want it. I want you. Alpha.”

Daichi comes hard inside him. Suga can feel every drop flow into him, leaking out and gathering in a small pool on the bed beneath him. He can feel it gather in the pit of his stomach, filling him.

Suga comes again too. Daichi smears the mess across the omega’s belly, a satisfied grin on his face.

It takes them almost half an hour to come down from that high. Until finally Daichi slides his cock out of him only to watch what remains of his seed trickle out. They’re a mess. Both sweaty and dirty even though they had both just showered. Suga would have to clean the bed tomorrow but for now, all he wants is to fall asleep in Daichi’s arms. 


	2. Whelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kind words!  
> once again, another chapter for my selfish need for some drama.  
> No beta reader so there are probably some mistakes but i hope you enjoy anyway!
> 
> Content warning for this chapter includes, drinking, addiction, and making bad decisions while under the influence.

**_Whelve- To bury something deep_ **   


“Yamaguchi, are you sure you’re not an omega?” Tsukki’s big brother asks him as he puts the last dirty dish in the dishwasher.

It was just the three of them at the Tsukishima house today. There was a volleyball tournament on the television and Tsukki’s big brother had made a spaghetti bake for them. It was typical for Yamaguchi to have dinner at their house after a late practice. Hell it was practically tradition at this point.

He was used to Akiteru teasing him. The older boy seemed to get a kick out of embarrassing him. Or perhaps what he really wanted was to embarrass his little brother.   
“Me?” Yamaguchi gives him a pointed look. “Of course I’m sure. We all got tested when we were like thirteen.”

Akiteru snickers as he puts the last of the leftovers in the refrigerator. “Yeah well, I just thought, you know. With the way you follow my brother around—”

“What? I don’t follow him around. We’re friends. Though I guess you wouldn’t know too much about that, huh?” He teases back.

Akiteru waves off the comment before turning and pointing. “You’re skinny as a rail. You have a pretty looking face. And you’re attached to my alpha brother like some sort of sucker fish. Anyone would think you’re an omega at first glance. Not that it would be a bad thing. Hell I’d prefer it.”

“P— prefer? Don’t say weird stuff like that, pervert. I’m way too young for you.” He points back accusingly. Of course he knows it’s all in good fun, but this wouldn’t be the first time someone’s alluded to him being an omega. It’s not that he’s particularly small for his age. He’s actually rather tall. But he does have a thin waist, small hands, and wider hips than most. People tell him his freckled face is pretty and petite but that doesn’t mean he’s an omega. Clearly speaking, he’s already been tested. And what’s more, there hasn’t been a single omega in his family for generations. He was a purebred beta. As plain and boring as they come.

He didn’t have some unique or interesting bloodline like some of the other players on the team. Like Noya who was born in a more traditional alpha and omega family. Or Like Tsukki and Kageyama whose families were practically swimming in alphas.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not talking for myself here. I’m talking about my brother. I can’t imagine him choosing a partner that our mom picks out of a folder. He’d probably prefer it be someone he knows and trusts.”

“Me?” Yamaguchi stammers out, looking toward the family room where Tsukki was supposed to be setting up a video game. “Absolutely not! No way. Someone like me?” He hides behind a boisterous laugh. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t at least thought once or twice— or a million times— about Tsukki in that way. And he could definitely not count on both hands the number of times he stared with jealousy at some of the omegas in school who bragged about their excitement on being perfectly paired with an alpha in the future. As though for them, everything about their future was spread out before their very eyes. So yes, he was jealous of that. If he was an omega...would it be easier to express his feelings to his friend? Would Kei accept him?

If he was an omega...would they have a chance to be together?

It’s a stupid thought, and he promptly tosses it aside.

“Hey, all I’m saying is that would make life so much easier for my air headed little brother.” The taller boy sighs. “Mom is already making plans for me so I can only assume Tsukki has just a few more years of freedom left.”

“Already? You just graduated university!”

Akiteru shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah well, that’s what happens when you live in a household full of alphas. Our mom’s practically obsessed with the whole ‘good genes’ thing. It’s crazy. You’re lucky you don’t have to worry about that sort of thing.”

“...yeah.”

“And with Kei...she’s already been watching him like a hawk. She even monitors who he’s been spending time with: the team, you, everyone. She wants him to have a good match. I just think it would be great if the match was good for him in particular.”

“Pfft, like I’d be a good match.”

Akiteru approaches and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t sell yourself short. Kei is...bad at really expressing himself. He tries to act cool and sophisticated but he’s still just a kid. The only person I see him really relax around is you.”

“R— really?”

The blonde squishes Yamaguchi’s cheeks. “Plus, look at you. If I were your age I’d eat you up.”

“What are you two talking about.” Tsukki enters and Yamaguchi’s heart jumps just enough that he’s certain his friend hears it. He pulls away from Akiteru’s touch.

“Just about you.” His brother winks in his direction and Yamaguchi nearly loses it.

“Oh yeah? What about me?” His tone is flat, like it often is.

“Your love life of course.” Akiteru crosses the floor, patting his brother’s head as he passes him to enter the family room. The other two follow suit, finding a place on the couch as the elder brother passes around controllers.

“Don’t talk about stupid things like that.” He directs the statement to Yamaguchi though the beta hadn’t said anything.

“Sorry...Tsukki.”

“Hey now, don’t be mean. You should be nicer to your friends.”

“And you shouldn’t talk about pointless things.”

“Pointless?” he scoffs. “You won’t be saying that when you’re in my shoes.” He mutters under his breath before starting up the game. “I wish I had someone in my life like Yamaguchi here is all I’m saying.”   
Yamaguchi wants to sink away as his name comes up. He wishes they would drop it. This is awkward enough as it is.

“What are you insinuating?” Tsukki stiffens.   
“Nothing. Never mind.” Akiteru attempts to drop the subject but Tsukki persists.

“Yamaguchi is a beta you know.”

He says it as a fact but...there is something in the  _ way _ he says it that has Yamaguchi feeling a little...insulted?

Akiteru must note it too because he pauses for a moment before speaking again. “Hey, relax, Kei. I wasn’t trying to make you mad or anything.”

“Well then what is it you were trying to say?”

“We were just talking about mom trying to set you up with someone in the future.”

“With Yamaguchi?” He raises a brow. “As if.”

Yamaguchi can feel a lump forming in the back of his throat. He tries to swallow it back but he can’t. Did he have to say it with so much disgust?

He tries to hide the slight hurt with a laugh. “That’s a ridiculous idea, right Tsukki?”

“Right.” The blond agrees without hesitation Now quit talking about Yamaguchi like he’s...like he’s some omega I’m trying to seduce.”

Tsukki’s brother frowns. “Firstly, you’re way off. You know that’s not what I think. You just never show any interest in anyone. And the only person you ever bring home is him. Don’t you think mom is going to be asking questions?”

Where the hell was this conversation going?

The two brothers are standing now, staring each other down with Yamaguchi awkwardly between them. Maybe he should go home. They had a big practice match tomorrow anyway.

“Mom hasn’t said anything to me. She knows Yamaguchi. We’ve been friends for years.”

“And you haven’t had any other since.” The elder brother rolls his eyes. “You’re over reacting to all this. What’s up with you tonight? You’re acting weird.”

“I’m acting weird? You’re trying to set me up with my friend and I’m the one behaving weird?”

“I’m not trying to do that! I’m just saying that he’s a good friend, and it’s easy to assume that you both are—”

“He’s just a beta!” Tsukishima responds loudly— as if he hasn’t said it before. Loud enough that it actually startles the others. He’s annoyed, Yamaguchi can tell. Annoyed and...kinda mean.

“Just because he’s a beta doesn’t mean you can’t—”

“Don’t be stupid.” Tsukki cuts him off. “You know as well as I do how ridiculous that sounds. Relationships between alphas and betas are pointless. So you may as well get the thought out of your head.”

Tsukki’s words are simple and curt. He never says anything more or less than needed. Which makes it hurt all the more.

It’s almost surprising really, how bad it hurts. And the hurt must show because the eldest Tsukishima brother punches the younger in the arm.

“What the hell, Kei.”

Tsukki doesn’t budge. “I’m only stating a fact.” His voice is distant, cold.

Yamaguchi is going to throw up. He's definitely going to throw up. Was he crying? He thinks he’s crying. He must be crying because his vision’s blurry and his cheeks are wet.

Tsukki continues. “Why are you acting surprised? He’s basically a brother to me at this point. To even think I’d see him as anything more is disgusting.”

“Kei.” The elder boy says firmly but Tsikishima rambles on.

“Besides. Betas and alphas don’t mix. Wouldn’t even be with the argument with mom.” 

“Kei!”Akiteru raises his voice until finally Tsukki sees.

By then the tears had stained Yamaguchi’s cheeks and his eyes were full and wet. He tries to wipe them as quickly as possible, but they just won’t stop falling.

“S— sorry, I just, I think I uhm, I just remembered this really sad movie I watched with my mom the other day and…” He’s jumbling his words. He can’t bother to think of an excuse fast enough. Embarrassed and overwhelmed he just wants to go home now. Without hesitation the beta stands. Tsukki stares at him, his face unchanging but his hands balled into tight fists.

Akiteru tries to call to him but Yamaguchi is already bee-lining for the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tsukki.” He barely gets out before running away from the situation.

The night air is cold. He’s already on his bike and down the road when he realizes he had left his jacket. But he doesn’t stop and he doesn’t turn around. He rides hard all the way home, tears stinging in his eyes. He doesn’t even speak to his mother as he enters. Simply races up the stairs to his room and slams the door shut behind him.

Of course it would be ridiculous. How could a beta like him even think about being in a relationship with an alpha like Tsukki?

Even though he knows that. Even though he knows he would be a fool to get his hopes up. It still hurts. Tsukishima has disregarded the notion so quickly. Hadn’t even given him a second thought...Did he truly think so little of him?

Yamaguchi cried himself to sleep that night and many nights after that.

That day’s exchange was only worsened the following evening during their practice match. As though fate was actively working hard to ruin his life.

In the midst of a match Suga had suddenly gone into heat. Yamaguchi had assumed he was a beta. It was both a surprising and terrifying sight. Like clockwork the alphas of the team had reacted to his pheromones. Yamaguchi could do nothing but watch as the friends he knew lost control before his very eyes. Including Tsukki…

Yamaguchi had watched his best friend and crush snap. His eyes went sharp and he growled as he lunged at their collapsed teammate.

It was...feral...scary...

If not for the coaches and Daichi…

Tsukki had distanced himself after that. He stopped walking home with him. He stopped inviting him over. Even during practice he kept his distance. And then one day, Tsukki stopped showing up to practice… He stopped talking to him all together.

Yamaguchi had felt alone after that. Truly and utterly alone. Sure he had his other friends like Hinata and Ennoshita. But...It just was not the same. Tsukki was gone and he so desperately wanted him back. He had gone to his house many times and knocked but every single time Tsukki’s mother would answer and send him away.

It wasn’t until the final month of high school that he truly gave up. He stopped trying to call. He stopped the texts. He stopped trying to visit him.

Even when he passed him in the hall he didn’t look up.

They existed as strangers and Yamaguchi didn’t know why. Was their friendship so fragile? What had he done that made Tsukki hate him so much?

Was it...was just because of their second sex? Yamaguchi would never hate him just because he was alpha. And he didn’t think being a beta mattered to their friendship.

Maybe...maybe Tsukki had found out. Maybe he knew about his crush. Maybe he was so insulted by the insinuation of a beta being in love with him that he wanted nothing more to do with him.

It all amounted to guesses though. Tsukishima wouldn’t speak to him and Yamaguchi would never get answers.

.

.

When Tadashi graduated he didn’t go too far. He attended a university in the nearby city. Somewhere a bit more dense and louder than his hometown. He attended school for four years studying to work in IT and ended up being blessed with a decent paying job not far from an even more decently priced apartment. It somehow all fit together for the most part.

Of course...now he was alone. Away from friends while they accomplished great things. Away from his family who rarely made the effort to visit. Away from the sport he loved because there was no time in the day to truly devote to volleyball. Away from everything.

The beta had never been the most outgoing of souls. He had relied on Tsukishima and other outgoing friends all his life to make connections for him. So being alone he truly struggled to make any meaningful relationships. He hardly had a soul he could call a friend.

It wasn’t until recent months that he managed to pick up enough courage to go out to a bar. Even then he started with drinking alone, simply people watching until his eyes glazed over and his vision blurred, It was only then that he got ballsy enough to chat and laugh and finally fill that void he’d been missing all this time.

And like a drug he became addicted to that feeling, He craved it over and over and over again. That  _ need _ to be surrounded. To be seen and heard. That need to feel connected no matter how thin the tether. His days bled into a vicious cycle. Wake. Work. Drink. Repeat. And on those particularly empty days he needed more than mere conversation he would shake his hips on the dance floor until a wanting hand grabbed his own.

The first time had been painful. He had been tense and scared but drunk enough to not want to stop. The stranger hadn’t cared he was a virgin. And he certainly didn’t care when Tadashi had begged him to be gentle. It was dirty and disgusting and yet so much better than being empty.

He got better at it with time of course. Not every encounter was a painful one. Most were like him, simple betas in need for a one night stand that would fill their time.

Tadashi wakes to the sound of an incessant beeping. With his eyes closed, he feels around his bed, searching for his phone. Instead his hand touches a warm body. It takes a moment before his brain catches up.

“Shit!” He jolts up, eyes snapping open in realization. “Shit. Shit.” He looks to the sleeping form beside him. What was his name? Itsuki? Mitsuki? Shit. He can’t remember.

He had spent the whole night at the bar drinking so his memory certainly wasn’t precise. He doesn’t even remember leaving the bar last night with anyone.

He searches the room with his eyes. It’s not his that’s for sure. It’s a dingy little place yet still somehow bigger than his own. Clothes— dirty by the smell— littered the floor in piles. The place also smelled of cigarettes and piss.

This was not a good choice by any means. Usually he was a lot more careful when selecting partners. 

Tadashi finds his phone on a nightstand and swipes off the alarm. He had to be at work in the next two hours and this was not a good start to his day.

He’s quick to find his clothes. Quick and quiet. He pulls on his joggers and black tee with his favorite soda brand printed on it. There were some stains down the front but nothing he couldn’t wash out later.

He sneaks away from the stranger’s home with ease. He’d done it plenty of times before. Most didn’t wake, and if they did, they didn’t bother letting him know. That’s what one night stands we’re about after all. One night of fun and satisfaction with no string attached.

Once outside he gets his bearings. He’s not far from his own apartment and, if he caught a cab, he would have enough time for a quick shower.

It’s times like these when he’s thankful he chose to live in the city. Everything was so close together he never really had to worry about transportation or running late. He was lucky in that sense.

His apartment isn’t huge but it’s a fair price for the location and has a decent size kitchen. Which is all he really needs. He has a small room but at least there’s a small television and computer to keep him entertained. Plus the shower is nice and spacious. He’d prefer a bath but he’ll take what he can get. 

Tadashi takes the quickest shower imaginable, barely washing his hair before he’s jumping out and redressing in something clean and presentable. It’s nothing different than his usual style, a pair of dark jeans and a long sleeved maroon shirt that matches the color required for work wear. He combs out his hair before pulling it back in a ponytail. He keeps his hair longer than he used to. It fits his style a lot more than the shorter cut ever did. Plus he rather enjoys wearing the small clips and hair ties he would find on sale at the store.

He grabs his wallet and keys before slipping into a pair of boots. 

The electronic store he works at is conveniently right down the road. It’s a nice little store on the corner with big glass windows and neon lights. They mainly sell computers and phones but he also does a bit of repairing of devices and works at the help desk. It’s a nice gig and it pays well enough that he can make ends meet without struggling paycheck to paycheck while still having fun on his days off.

Of course today he feels especially bad. His head pounds with every step and not even the largest coffee from next door’s Coffee House can make him completely open his eyes.

It’s not until his phone goes off that he manages to blink away the sleep. The number is unknown, but he answers anyway.

“Hello?”

A familiar voice answers. The voice of his high school volleyball coach.“Yamaguchi?”

He almost hangs up right there. “Uh, yeah. Coach Ukai?”

“Great! Glad I finally got a hold of you. I had to call around to some of the other team members before I was able to get this number. How’ve you been?”

He doesn’t really have time for a full on conversation, so he walks and talks. “Uhm, I’ve been good. Gotta admit I’m pretty shocked to hear from you, Coach. Thought maybe you’ve moved on from our class by now.” he laughs.

“Oh sarcastic now are we? Well yes, of course I’ve moved on. I’ve got new bright players to train.”

“So why are you reaching out to me? Don’t tell me you’re inviting me to a wedding or something. You and Takeda were always pretty close.”

There was a momentary pause. “Funny enough, we’re already married, but that’s not why I called. I’m planning on a crow reunion. Something casual at the nearby karaoke bar. There would be plenty to drink and eat.”

Tadashi takes a quick sip of his coffee. A reunion for the team? Really? After all these years? He hadn’t kept contact with most of them for a while. Hinata and Kageyama were far too busy being celebrities. Noya and Asahi traveled the world like they owned it. And the rest of the team had already gotten so deep into their own lives they’ve probably forgotten about everyone else. That includes Tsukishima.

“Is this the part where you ask me to go?” Tadashi sighs because he really really doesn’t want to. Just thinking about it has his stomach in knots.

“Well, I was hoping so. You were part of the team. Even captain at one point. So yeah, we really want you to come. That is, if you can. I know you lot have your own lives and what not but it really would mean a lot to me and Takeda if you showed up.”

Shit.

“Yeah I think I can make it. If you promise to spot my drinks I may even pretend to be having a good time.” He laughs hard. Though it’s more out of nervousness than anything. He can’t imagine spending a whole night surrounded by his ex-teammates swapping stories about all their achievements. Or the alphas bragging about their perfect lives and mates. He doesn’t want to hear any of it. But he agrees anyway because saying no had never been one of his strong suites.

“Wonderful! I’ll text you all the details.” A pause. “It really is nice to hear from you, Yamaguchi. I hope everything has been going well for you.”

“It is.” It’s only half a lie. He’s got a job and a place to live. Ukai doesn’t need to know about the drinking and smoking and sex with strangers on any given day.

“Good...then I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Sure thing, coach.”

He reaches his store by the time the phone call ends.

He curses himself once again for the millionth time today.

Work is long and tedious. By the time he’s done with his shift his feet are sore and he’s mentally exhausted from dealing with customers. A drink is definitely something he needs today. Maybe something a little more.

The bars he frequents aren’t varied but on occasion he steps out of his comfort zone. As a young high schooler he never thought he’d be involved in any sort of bar or club scene. Hell he thought he’d forever be a nerdy virgin who played volleyball but here he is.

The place he chooses to go to is a club called Twist and is well known for being a great hook-up bar. Tadashi had met a few different types of people here before, even hooked up with some, but he mostly came for the good music and great drinks that, while pricey, have a bit more punch to them.

Twist is about as dingy as you can get despite the price-tags. Its floors are always wet and the room always seems to be a bit too dark for comfort. The music is loud and it’s usually packed full of a rowdy crowd. At first glance it would seem a little sketchy— and maybe it is— but it still can turn a sour day into a fun night.

It’s as crowded today as it usually is, maybe even more so. From the looks of it, there seems to be some sort of company party happening. Tadashi notes a large table filled with men in office apparel laughing and clinking drinks together. Strange how this is the place they choose to celebrate. There are certainly less...risque places to drink with office buddies.

No mind. Tadashi ignores their presence and takes a seat at a table on his own. He orders a beer and a few shots to start off with as well as a burger. He relaxes into his chair and spends a few minutes swiping through social media until he’s bored with that. He eyes the faces around the room.

It’s funny. He can practically tell a person’s second gender just by watching long enough. Alpha. Alpha, Beta. Omega. Beta. Beta. Beta. Betas make up most of the room followed by alphas. You would very rarely catch omegas in a place like this. Most people would consider it dangerous. There are plenty of skevy people waiting to take advantage of a lone omega in a bar and Tadashi can spot them a mile away. He knows the types to stay away from now. The clingy types. The rough types. The types that want to commit after one fuck. He stays away from them all.

“Congratulations on the promotion!” A chorus of voices sounds through the bar side of the room just as Tadashi’s been delivered his food and drink. He scowls at the sound, which is louder than the music that plays in the big speakers hung in the corners. He down the first three shots like they’re nothing.

The chatter is annoying, nonsensical, and way too loud. Of course so is the rest of the room but this group in particular makes him cringe. Nothing worse than a group of drunk office workers looking desperately for a hookup while looking down on anyone that so much as looks like they’re an hourly not salary employee. He’d talked to those types before.

This group in particular is rough and rowdy. Already they’re so drunk they’re practically falling out of their chairs.

Tadashi spends the whole night watching them, amused by the way they’re flirting with every waiter, bartender, and breathing human that walks past them. 

Tadashi can’t help but laugh as one drunk blonde in particular fails miserably at trying to chat up the pretty waiter. He’s tall and awkward with his blonde hair slicked back. If Tadashi squints he resembles Tsukishima. Without the scowl of course.

The beta knocks back another few drinks, watching the blonde with a careful eye. He can tell even from this distance the man is an alpha.

The sight of him stirs memories. Desires.

Maybe if he closed his eyes tightly enough, he could pretend it was Kei. Make true all those fantasies he had as a teenager.

He licks his lips, staring down the blonde stranger. He tries to subtly get his attention, moving in his chair in the exact spot to be viewed. He knocks back another shot and slams it loudly on his table. That certainly gets a response as the men at the table turn.

It’s in that moment he has to catch their attention. He only has a split second. But a second is all he really needs. With a flirtatious glance he gives the stranger a smile.

The men whisper amongst themselves, all while staring. Good. Tadashi shifts a bit more in his chair leaning forward on one palm. He gives the alpha a come hither with his finger.

The blonde looks genuinely surprised. He actually turns to his friends for reassurance before they very loudly encourage him to approach.

Gotta love peer pressure.

Tadashi stands too. He leads the alpha onto the dance floor. A slow start. Something to get them both relaxed and on the same vibe. They don’t even introduce themselves to each other. No point. His name wouldn’t really matter at the end of the night and Tadashi would probably have forgotten it anyway.

They dance for a long while. If it can even be called dancing. The beta moves close against him, rubbing his ass against the man’s front. He’s a tall guy with large hands that find Tadashi’s hips and hold him in place as he grinding against him. The friction alone makes him tilt his head back in pleasure, his eyes focussing on the flash of blonde above him.

Would Tsukki have ever touched him like this? With so much want? 

He feels lips against his neck. 

How would Tsukki kiss him? What would it feel like? What would he taste like?

The hole in his chest feels especially empty right now.

Most of the night happens in a haze. One minute he’s dancing against this stranger and the next he’s dragging the blonde across the floor to the bathroom. The alcohol is really getting to him tonight.

The bathroom is dark and dirty. One bulb has gone out and the other is flickering on and off. Tadashi pulled the blonde inside with him before flicking off the lights. Their only decent light comes from a foggy window where a streetlamp shines right outside.

“I’ve never done anything like this before.” The man slurs his words. “I don’t know if this place is ih—”

“It’s fine.” Tadashi laughs before pushing the alpha against the door and dropping to his knees. “You picked probably the dirtiest bar in town to have a party at.” He fingers the belt buckle on his slacks before finally managing to pop it open. Tadashi has done this before and he’s not ashamed to admit he’s used to the process.

“We uh..we wanted some place a little more. Discreet. Not many in our department come here.”

“Discreet huh?” His hands focus on the zipper and button now. Without even truly seeing he knows this alpha is packing big time. “Well I suppose a grimy bathroom is discreet. What are you hiding for anyway? Wife? Husband?” He pulls the man’s pants down. “Maybe you’ve just got an itch you can’t scratch.”

He pulls the blonde’s cock free. He’s not fully hard just yet but he’s getting there. Like most alphas he’s big. More long than it is thick but Tadashi is fine with that. He spits in his hand before stroking the half hard shaft.

The stranger flinches back and the beta laughs. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”   
“No, sorry I was just, surprised.”   
He’s a little less brazen now that they’re alone he notes.

“Well if you start feeling shy just let me know.” He knows the alpha can’t see him clearly but he smirks and winks, working the cock in his hand until it grows and stiffens. With a gentle touch he kisses the tip, flicking his tongue out to get that first taste.

What would Tsukki taste like?

He drags his tongue up and down the shaft, Laps at the underside. He even mouths at the base, right near his knot until the alpha grabs a fist full of hair. It’s the same reaction all alphas give when he teases that spot.

Would Tsukki react like this?

Tadashi wraps his lips around the cock while his hands go to his own. He bobs back on forth with a steady pace at first, relishing in the sound of the blonde moaning above him.

“Fuck.” He breathes, his hand tightening in the beta’s hair. “Fucking shit that’s good.” He bucks his hips and Tadashi moans as he hits the back of his throat. It feels good. He opens his throat to him, letting the alpha fuck his face with abandon. Until his eyes fill with tears and his vision blurs. Until his own cock swells and aches with a want of release.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” The alpha chants and Tadashi pretends it’s Tsukki.

He pulls away to breath but doesn’t hesitate to take the alpha into his mouth again. He practically sings with satisfaction as the other offers him praises, petting his head and pulling his hair until finally, finally, the alpha comes down his throat.

Tadashi swallows every drop, sucking on the head until he comes himself into his palm.

He stays like that for a moment. Takes in the smells and sounds mixing around him. It’s fulfilling, even if just for a moment he felt connected to something.

The stranger breathes a sigh of relief before tucking himself away. He laughs nervously. “I’ve literally never done anything like this before. I— can’t believe it.” He actually helps Tadashi to his feet though he nearly stumbles when he’s up right.

“Fuck, maybe I shouldn’t have done this.”

Ah. He’s one of thoses. Tadashi was up for an earful.

“I’m sorry,” The blonde starts. “I’m drunk, you’re drunk we shouldn’t have. And in a fucking bathroom. Shit.”   
Tadashi can’t help but laugh at the panic in the alpha’s voice. “Relax. Not like we have to get married or anything.” He flicks on the lights, and starts the water in the sink to rinse his mouth out. “A little fun never hurt anyone. And I promise I won’t tell.” He turns to face the alpha with a smile, then goes cold.

The resemblance to Tsukki hadn’t been a coincidence. He was drunk, and the lighting was terrible but...this resemblance. It was more evident up close.

The blonde must realize it the same moment because his eyes widen.

“Yamaguchi?”

“Akiteru?”

They speak at the same moment and suddenly Tadashi doesn’t feel good.

Without speaking another word he bolts from the bathroom, racing across the dance floor and toward the exit.

What the fuck.

What the fuck.

What the fuck!

This couldn’t possibly be happening to him. He just. With Aki. He really— 

“Yamaguchi wait!”

A hand grabs his wrist right as he makes it outside. Akiteru grips him tightly.

“I had no idea. Really. I can’t, “ he’s blushing hard. “I can’t believe this. Please tell me you didn’t know.”   
“Of course I didn’t!” He snatches his hand away. “You think I would suck you off if I knew it was you? Damn it!” He shouts, some clarity returning to him. Of all the people this could possibly happen with, why did it have to be him. “Aren’t you married? What the hell are you doing here?”

Akiteru doesn’t answer right away. “It’s...complicated. My wife is—”

“Probably not thinking her husband is getting a blow job from some beta in a bathroom. You are an asshole! I can’t believe this. I have to go.” He doesn’t want to stay another moment. He’s embarrassed, humiliated, and done with the day.

“We didn’t know.” Akiteru grabs him again before he runs. “We didn’t know. I promise I won’t say anything just please promise me you won't say anything either. Especially not to Kei.”

“How about you fuck off.” As if Yamaguchi had spoken to Kei in years.

“Please listen to me, Tadashi!” He puts his hand on his shoulder. “Don’t look at me like that please.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re judging me!”

“How the hell can I judge you when I just swallowed your cum in a dirty bathroom.”

The alpha turns red. He looks away momentarily before looking back at Tadashi. “My marriage isn’t going well and....I wanted to celebrate here because I knew my wife wouldn’t come. She hates places like this. Hell she hates my friends. I just...I just wanted to have one night to just black out and go somewhere else. You looked alone and I just went for it.” He sighs heavily. “But I swear I didn’t know it was you. From the drinking to the lighting I just thought you were another beta. Just another person I could—”

Tadashi doesn’t want to listen. He doesn’t recognize the person in front of him. He used to look up to Akiteru. See him as some great brother figure that he didn’t have at home. But right now...he’s almost pathetic. Begging...desperate…

Was Tadashi any different?

“I have things to work through, I know. So please don’t tell Kei.”l   
Tadashi hadn’t heard the footsteps until they were right behind him.

“Don’t tell Kei what?”

The voice comes from behind and Tadashi is certain he’ll pass out from the sound of it. In fact, he doesn’t dare turn to face the familiar voice.

Akiteru looks absolutely mortified. “Kei, what are you doing here?”

Footsteps approach. “Mom told me about your promotion. I texted you earlier and you told me to come drink. I figured you’d be falling over your own feet so I came to be the designated driver.”

Tadashi doesn’t speak.

“Though,” Tsukishima continues, “I can’t imagine why you came here of all places.”

“I must have drunk texted you. I’m sorry, Uh…” He looks between Tadashi and his brother. The beta tries to beg with his eyes. If he would let him go he could just walk away. Say nothing and walk away from all this.

“Coworker?” Kei asks. “Is he an idiot?” he sighs. “Hey, you can go inside. I want to chat with my brother alone.”

Tadashi is so frozen in place, so distraught, that his response is automatic. “Sorry, Tsukki.”

His heart drops. His breathing is ragged.

Why did he say that? Why is he shaking? Why can’t he breath? Is this a panic attack?

Kei grabs him hard, spinning him so they’re forced to face each other.

The blonde is glaring at him. Disgust painted clear as day on his face. “What the hell is this? Yamaguchi?”

He almost breaks right there. He wants to grab his old friend’s hand and squeeze it. Beg him to explain why he left him. Why he stopped being friends with him.

It takes a lot to force it back down. To remember that he’s not in highschool anymore. That he’s not some scared and shy little kid that needs to hang on every word Kei says. He straightens his back, relaxes his shoulders, and gains enough courage to look the alpha in the eye. “It has nothing to do with you. What are you his mom? We just happened to run into each other.”

“Y— yeah.” Akiteru confirms.

Kei’s reaction is almost violent. He pushes the beta into the nearest wall, clenching his collar. His eyes almost seem to glow under this light from the street lamps. This was not the cool-headed Tsukki he knew from childhood.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Get your hands off me.” He tries to push away but the alpha traps him in his arms. “I haven’t seen you in years and the first thing you do is push me against a wall? Are you still bullying in this day and age?”

Tsukishima’s eyes are intense. Tadashi almost looks away from them but holds his ground.

The blonde looks over every inch of the beta, even moving so close as to sniff him. It lasts longer than comfortable, and yet he can do nothing but stand silent and still as the alpha buries his face in his neck.

“What did you do to Yamaguchi?” he throws his brother a cold look over his shoulder.

Akiteru says nothing.

“I can smell him on you, you know.” he directs the statement to Tadashi. There is a growl that weighs heavy in his throat. It scares Tadashi. He has never seen Tsukishima like this. Not since highschool, the day all the alphas went feral in the gym. 

Tadashi pushes him hard. He doesn’t want to be here. He needs to leave now. “So what? I’m an adult and he’s an adult. You have nothing to do with any of this.”

“He’s married.”

“Married men don’t go to clubs? Married men don’t hook up with strangers? Your brother’s not special.”

“You’re not strangers. You’re…” The look in his eye shifts from anger to disappointment.

Tadashi finally pushes him hard enough to get away. “You have no right to look at me like that. It isn’t as though we’re friends or family or anything. I can sleep with whoever I want. Besides,” his lips curl into a smile and he makes a stroking motion with his hand. “Your brother was really backed up you know.”

Tadashi expects Tsukishima to hit him for the comment. Hell he wouldn’t blame him. The glint in his eyes even says so. But instead, he turns on his heels and decks his brother hard. Akiteru falls to the ground, holding his cheek.

“Kei?” He looks up with wide eyes.

He doesn’t say anything in response. Only grits his teeth and clenches his fist, before intaking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. His body visibly relaxes. “I imagined it a million times over.”

Tadashi stares at his back. “What?”

“All the different scenarios...What I would say. How I would...Of course this is the way it ends up.”

“Tsukki?”

“I don’t care anymore. I should have stopped caring a long time ago but that’s my fault. Bye.” He leaves abruptly before anyone can say another word.

Tadashi watches as he disappears, anger building in the pit of his stomach.

Years ago Tsukishima had cut off their relationship. So why was he speaking as though he wasn’t the cause of it? Just what the hell was he thinking? Why was this happening? How could his luck be this bad?

There is a part of him that regrets promising coach Ukai he’d be at the reunion. How could he face Tsukishima or anyone on the team after what had happened today?

Tadashi doesn’t bother to say goodbye to Akiteru. He doesn’t even look his way. It’s as though everything is too much. Too loud. Too bright. He walks and walks and walks, his thoughts going dark. One minute he doesn’t know where he is and the next he’s in a strange bedroom being stripped of all his clothes, his mouth open and eager to the taste of a man he’s never met before.

He doesn’t see the man’s face.

Doesn’t feel his touch.

But that hole in his chest is filling again, and he’ll do anything to hold onto it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so mean to Yamaguchi, even though he's one of my favs!  
> Hopefully it gets better for him next chapter =D
> 
> Thank you all for the love on this story!!!
> 
> Follow me on twitter!  
> Twitter:dia-dove

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!  
> The next chapter will focus on Tsukishima and Yamaguchi though we will return to Daisuga later~  
> I'm totally terrible with deadlines but I'm giving myself at most 1.5 weeks between uploads.
> 
> Follow me on twitter!  
> Twitter:dia-dove


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